It was New Year's Eve, and I was sat on the floor of Dave's living room with his family with a dog fast asleep on me either side. It was like having a warm, slightly vibrating blanket keeping me warm. We were watching the run up to midnight from across the world, seeing Sydney's and Dubai's firework displays and debating their particular merits versus Edinburgh and London. Personally, London is always my favourite - despite my Scottish heritage, you just can't argue with how amazing the London Eye looks and the inventiveness of the firework display. It's always around this time of year that I decide I should really take my engineering degree and become a fireworks display creator instead...
A sudden bang outside woke the dogs up and they immediately ran through to their beds to hide. Dave's little sister jumped off the sofa and started tugging on her parents' hands.
"It's time to go outside! It's time!"
I looked over at Dave questioningly. "We always go outside to see the fireworks going off across the valley at midnight, but the earliest fireworks usually start about half an hour beforehand."
I pushed myself up quickly. "I just need to go grab something from upstairs - wait for me?"
Five minutes later, I was back down with my canvas bag slung over one shoulder. Dave raised an eyebrow but I just smiled mysteriously and shook my head. Shrugging, he opened the door for me and led me down to the bottom of the garden. His parents had pulled out a few deck chairs, but he walked straight past them and hopped up onto the stone wall at the bottom of the garden. I joined him, and squinted out over the pitch black valley. Slowly, my eyes adjusted and I began to make out the shape of the hills and the faint twinkling from other houses.
"So... what's in the bag?"
I tutted at Dave. "What makes you think anything in the bag is for you?"
"Because I'm amaaaazing." He tilted his head and tried to bat his eyes at me, but ruined the effect by half falling off the wall.
Laughing, I pulled him back up. "You're a liability, that's what you are... But actually yes, there is something in the bag for you."
"Oooh!" His face immediately brightened and he scooted closer over towards me. "I have presents?!"
"Yes, you have presents! You can't go off to America completely unprepared..."
I reached into the bag and pulled out the first parcel.
Dave took it off me and weighed it. "Hmmm... I predict DVD..."
"Well, you did manage to get into university, so I presumed there were some brains in there somewhere..." I grinned as he scowled at me. "Go on, open it!"
He tore the paper open eagerly, then burst out laughing when he saw what he was holding: season 1 of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. "In West Philadelphia, born and raised..." I started, motioning for him to join in, but he was laughing too hard. "See, you can't move to Philadelphia without this!"
"I love it! But... you know it's set in LA?"
"Wait, what? But - the song!"
"That's the whole point, he moves from Philadelphia to LA... but I really love it anyway! Thank you!"
Slightly disappointed by my mistake, I moved on to the next gift. I was really proud of this one.
"OK, this one comes in two parts. Open the small present first..." I waited until he was opening it before continuing. "And hereby, I would like to officially promote you... from Sous Chef of the Dave & Jane flat, to Head Chef of as yet unknown American flat!" He put the toy chef hat on his head, laughing again. I handed him part two. "And here's to make sure you don't starve!"
He wasn't laughing with this one, instead silent as he opened the pages and looked through. I'd found a place online that created notebooks with personalised pictures on the front, so I'd picked out a picture of the meat turtles we'd once created and which we considered our proudest culinary moment. The notebook itself was filled with all the recipes of the meals we'd eaten together over the past three years, along with anecdotes of stupid things either Dave or I had done and reminders not to do them again.
As he passed into the dessert section (followed by 'REMINDER - blowing icing sugar over pies WILL result in kitchen snowstorm apocalypse situations...'), he finally looked up at me. "Jane... this is amazing. I don't know what to say."
Luckily, he was saved by having to say anything else by the firework display started in the nearest town. I smiled happily up at the sky and glanced over to see Dave smiling too, his face lit up by the reds and golds and greens of the fireworks in the sky. He looked down and held my gaze for a second, both of us unable to stop smiling at the other.
After the fireworks had finally finished, Dave slung his arm around me. Leaning into him, we watched the valley fade into blackness again.
"I'm really going to miss you."
I sighed. "Me too. Why couldn't you have just found a nice placement in Edinburgh?"
I felt him laugh against me. "Yeah, what idiot goes all the way to Philadelphia for six months?"
"You, apparently!" We were silent for a moment. "And in any case, you only have to cope without me until after exams, and then I'll be straight out to sort you out from all the trouble you'll be getting into without me."
He chuckled again. "True! Until after exams."
I nodded into his shoulder. "After exams."
Author's Note: I'm so sorry about the late post! I might not be able to keep to Saturday's but I'll try and get posts up as soon as I can.
Also, for anyone intrigued, here is the meat turtle recipe - but be prepared, your life may never be the same again... http://bacontoday.com/bacon-turtle-burgers/
Wednesday, 8 April 2015
Saturday, 28 March 2015
Adventures in Yorkshire
The train journey down to Edinburgh passed in an instant - I was so tired when I got on the train at 7am that I fell asleep for the whole journey. Having to hang around in the train station for my connection woke me up a little bit - it looked like everyone was travelling on New Year's Eve, and the crowds were insane. I managed to find a slightly empty corner and grabbed a little respite from the solid wall of people - I'm not properly claustrophobic, but I always felt a little panicky when caught in such big crowds. It was with relief that the platform for my connection finally flashed up and I managed to force my way through to the ticket barriers.
With another four hours to go before I reached the station nearest Dave's home, I'd prepared by downloading half of the first season of Nashville. My sister had been raving about it over the past week, and promised it was nice easy viewing for a train journey. I don't know about you, but I can never focus on anything serious on a train, there's far too many distractions for me to follow any form of complicated plot.
Alyssa had been right - the relationship dramas interspersed with fabulous country music helped the hours fly by, until before I knew it the conductor was announcing the next station as Dave's. My excitement grew as I spotted his familiar grinning face as the train pulled in.
"Daaaave!" I basically jumped on top of him a hug, with him collapsing between the combined weight of me and my full to bursting backpack.
"Jane! You made it!"
"I did indeed - it's been a very, very long journey, but I made it! Also, what's with everyone travelling on New Year's Eve? Are they crazy?"
He gave me a measured look. "Says the girl who just travelled half the country on New Year's...?"
I dismissed his look with a wave. "Pfft! Mine's different, I bet all the others didn't have best friends about to abandon them for half the year, I had special reasons!"
He held a hand to his heart dramatically. "You mean... I'm special?"
"Special reasons does not make you special." I mock shook my head at him. "I've told you enough times the real reason I'm here..."
He sighed as he led me to his car. "Yes, yes, I know! The dogs!"
"Exactly. The dogs!" I smiled happily as he started the car. "Ooh, this is weird. Driven by Dave. Should I phone my mum and warn her I might not make it back?"
"Haha, very funny. No, you'll survive, it's all the other drivers you need to watch out for round here..."
"Typical man driver, blaming all the others!" I giggled as he glared over at me.
"Um, who exactly is putting you up for the next two days? Keep this up and it won't be me..."
"Aww, you know you love it really! But fine. You're the exception to the typical man driver rule. Happy?"
"Much!" He grinned smugly back as I tried and failed to contain my smile.
Less than ten minutes later, we turned off onto a winding country track. As we came around a copse of trees, Dave's house slowly turned into view - it was stunning. A huge sprawling country house, with at least three levels, and a huge garden around the back. I'd known that his family was fairly well off, but this was amazing!
I tried to hide my awe as I got out of the car, not wanting Dave to see. Luckily as soon as we went into the house I felt more at home - the building was amazing but obviously quite old, and the inside was your typical country house scene: wellies strewn everywhere, big winter coats hung up, and a large flagstoned kitchen with a glowing Aga. I heard the skittering of paws on the floor before a wave of yapping erupted and two beautiful collies flew round the corner and slid to a halt, staring at me in suspicion.
I knelt down on the floor and held my hand out to them, letting them come to me. As soon as they'd sniffed my hand and realised that Dave didn't seem threatened by me in any way, they jumped all over me. I grinned in pure happiness as I repeatedly told them how beautiful they were, being licked all over.
"Such a pushover!" sighed Dave as he picked up my abandoned suitcase and started climbing the stairs to my room. "Believe me, you'll have plenty of time to stroke them later, come on!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was sitting on the floor giggling away as eager tongues explored my face when Dave's mother walked in. Jumping to my feet, I introduced myself before getting stuck between whether I should go in for the handshake or a hug. Settling on an awkward little wave, she made my mind up for me as I was enfolded in a giant hug.
"Oh, Jane, it's so good to finally meet you! We've heard so much about you, it's wonderful that you could make it down for New Year."
I blushed a little. "It's really no problem at all, there was no way I was letting him go halfway across the world without a proper goodbye!"
"You're such a sweetheart. Now, has he been a good host? Has he offered you a drink, or a snack before dinner?"
Dave snorted. "Food? All Jane wanted was the dogs!" His mother gave him a look as he protested further, before with an exasperated air I was provided with a glass. We settled quickly into easy conversation about the holidays, before a bump at my knee made me look down and burst out laughing. The younger collie was sitting there with an expectant look on his face, with his lead in his mouth, and as I stared down at him he deliberately bumped my leg again.
"Think that's your cue, Dave! Take Jane out around the lake, give them a proper run and tire them out." His mother shooed us out of the kitchen, with the dogs excitedly prancing around us as they realised that walkies were actually happening.
Dave drove us out a short distance to a little car park next to a fairly large lake with a number of sailboats moored up at the edge. He noticed my gaze and nodded towards them. "We own one of those, actually."
"You own a boat as well? How much posher can you get?" I teased him. "Seriously though, I didn't know you could sail!"
"Ha, well there's a reason for that - I definitely can't! It was something my older brothers always did with my dad, he could never get me out on the water as a kid."
We wandered along the rough path, laughing as the elder collie repeatedly tried to pick up stones from the path before dropping them in favour of 'better' ones. It reminded me of my collie, Isla - collies always seemed to pick up odd compulsive habits for no apparent reason. In Isla's case, it manifested when we moved her kennel from behind my parent's bedroom to the bottom of the garden. We'd had this wendy house on stilts, with a large space underneath that a kid could easily stand upright in. As we were now all grown, the wendy house was rarely used, and so dad converted the area underneath into a kennel with a little flagstoned area, and contained with a fabric net so that she could still see outside into the garden.
Dad was so proud when we put her to bed that night - which only turned into consternation when we got up the next morning to find her lying outside the back door. A quick investigation found the method - a chewed hole in the net. Hence replacement of the fabric net with wire netting. However, same thing the next night - albeit with a slightly more painful grin from Isla. Next step - getting thick wire netting with very small holes so that she couldn't bite into it - for her safety as much as keeping her in the kennel overnight.
For the next few nights everything seemed fine. Every morning we'd go down to the kennel and she'd be sitting inside, waiting to be let out. Bring on the weekend - and suddenly she was back to greeting us at the door. However - this time there was absolutely no indicator of how she'd escaped. Netting in place, door tightly shut - we'd somehow become the owners of the genuine canine Houdini. The battle continued for a few months further between dad and Isla, with the kennel being constantly upgraded and Isla mysteriously beating all improvements, until mum caved and started letting her sleep in the nice warm conservatory every night. And who says humans are the clever ones?
Dave's collie finally decided on a stone he liked, and with a happy toss of the head ran into the lake to chase the younger. Dave laughed, and started telling me about how when he was a puppy, they had to repeatedly take him to the vet's to remove all the stones in his stomach. We continued sharing stories until we suddenly hit upon the topic of holidays.
"Oh, that reminds me! You know I said I'd come visit you?"
He scrunched up his face. "Oh god, yeah, how could I forget about that horrible threat?"
"Yeah yeah, you know you'll miss me. Anyway, I was thinking, instead of me coming to Philadelphia... how about we make it a holiday for both of us? You'll be in Philadelphia for half of the year anyway, and there's so many amazing places in America to visit, so we might as well make the most of it!"
"Yes! That's such a good idea! We could go to Chicago, or Boston..."
"Or, I was thinking, maybe even somewhere like Hawaii!"
He stopped and gave me a look. "Uh... how far away do you think Hawaii is from Philadelphia?"
I returned the funny look. "Surely not that far. You'd just have to nip across the country and then it must be quite close to the coast, right? And internal flights are so cheap in America!"
He shook his head at me in disbelief. "I can't... Yeah, I'm not explaining that one, I'll let you look up the costs and how long it takes and then come back to me on that one... Maybe a better idea is going south along the east coast, there's always Miami and New Orleans, all that area..."
"Oh!" I exclaimed, a thought coming to me. Dave mock covered his eyes, already despairing of whatever suggestion I had.
"Oh shh, this is actually a good suggestion! Philadelphia is quite north, right?"
Dave cautiously nodded.
"Well, how about heading up to Canada? Isn't Toronto quite near the border?"
His face lit up. "Wait, that is a good idea! And then we can go see Niagara Falls as well, that was on my list of things to go see whilst I'm out there!"
I started getting excited too. "Yes! And I've always wanted to go to Canada, I'm even thinking of looking for oil and gas jobs out there maybe, so it would be amazing! Plus don't they have that really tall tower you can eat in? We should have a super duper fancy meal up there and pretend to be really posh - except it won't actually be pretending for you..."
"You, stop it!" He pushed me off the path and into the muddy bog, laughing as I gasped at the cold slime creeping into my trainers.
"Oh, you did not just do that!" I chased after him down the path, determined to get revenge one way or another.
With another four hours to go before I reached the station nearest Dave's home, I'd prepared by downloading half of the first season of Nashville. My sister had been raving about it over the past week, and promised it was nice easy viewing for a train journey. I don't know about you, but I can never focus on anything serious on a train, there's far too many distractions for me to follow any form of complicated plot.
Alyssa had been right - the relationship dramas interspersed with fabulous country music helped the hours fly by, until before I knew it the conductor was announcing the next station as Dave's. My excitement grew as I spotted his familiar grinning face as the train pulled in.
"Daaaave!" I basically jumped on top of him a hug, with him collapsing between the combined weight of me and my full to bursting backpack.
"Jane! You made it!"
"I did indeed - it's been a very, very long journey, but I made it! Also, what's with everyone travelling on New Year's Eve? Are they crazy?"
He gave me a measured look. "Says the girl who just travelled half the country on New Year's...?"
I dismissed his look with a wave. "Pfft! Mine's different, I bet all the others didn't have best friends about to abandon them for half the year, I had special reasons!"
He held a hand to his heart dramatically. "You mean... I'm special?"
"Special reasons does not make you special." I mock shook my head at him. "I've told you enough times the real reason I'm here..."
He sighed as he led me to his car. "Yes, yes, I know! The dogs!"
"Exactly. The dogs!" I smiled happily as he started the car. "Ooh, this is weird. Driven by Dave. Should I phone my mum and warn her I might not make it back?"
"Haha, very funny. No, you'll survive, it's all the other drivers you need to watch out for round here..."
"Typical man driver, blaming all the others!" I giggled as he glared over at me.
"Um, who exactly is putting you up for the next two days? Keep this up and it won't be me..."
"Aww, you know you love it really! But fine. You're the exception to the typical man driver rule. Happy?"
"Much!" He grinned smugly back as I tried and failed to contain my smile.
Less than ten minutes later, we turned off onto a winding country track. As we came around a copse of trees, Dave's house slowly turned into view - it was stunning. A huge sprawling country house, with at least three levels, and a huge garden around the back. I'd known that his family was fairly well off, but this was amazing!
I tried to hide my awe as I got out of the car, not wanting Dave to see. Luckily as soon as we went into the house I felt more at home - the building was amazing but obviously quite old, and the inside was your typical country house scene: wellies strewn everywhere, big winter coats hung up, and a large flagstoned kitchen with a glowing Aga. I heard the skittering of paws on the floor before a wave of yapping erupted and two beautiful collies flew round the corner and slid to a halt, staring at me in suspicion.
I knelt down on the floor and held my hand out to them, letting them come to me. As soon as they'd sniffed my hand and realised that Dave didn't seem threatened by me in any way, they jumped all over me. I grinned in pure happiness as I repeatedly told them how beautiful they were, being licked all over.
"Such a pushover!" sighed Dave as he picked up my abandoned suitcase and started climbing the stairs to my room. "Believe me, you'll have plenty of time to stroke them later, come on!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was sitting on the floor giggling away as eager tongues explored my face when Dave's mother walked in. Jumping to my feet, I introduced myself before getting stuck between whether I should go in for the handshake or a hug. Settling on an awkward little wave, she made my mind up for me as I was enfolded in a giant hug.
"Oh, Jane, it's so good to finally meet you! We've heard so much about you, it's wonderful that you could make it down for New Year."
I blushed a little. "It's really no problem at all, there was no way I was letting him go halfway across the world without a proper goodbye!"
"You're such a sweetheart. Now, has he been a good host? Has he offered you a drink, or a snack before dinner?"
Dave snorted. "Food? All Jane wanted was the dogs!" His mother gave him a look as he protested further, before with an exasperated air I was provided with a glass. We settled quickly into easy conversation about the holidays, before a bump at my knee made me look down and burst out laughing. The younger collie was sitting there with an expectant look on his face, with his lead in his mouth, and as I stared down at him he deliberately bumped my leg again.
"Think that's your cue, Dave! Take Jane out around the lake, give them a proper run and tire them out." His mother shooed us out of the kitchen, with the dogs excitedly prancing around us as they realised that walkies were actually happening.
Dave drove us out a short distance to a little car park next to a fairly large lake with a number of sailboats moored up at the edge. He noticed my gaze and nodded towards them. "We own one of those, actually."
"You own a boat as well? How much posher can you get?" I teased him. "Seriously though, I didn't know you could sail!"
"Ha, well there's a reason for that - I definitely can't! It was something my older brothers always did with my dad, he could never get me out on the water as a kid."
We wandered along the rough path, laughing as the elder collie repeatedly tried to pick up stones from the path before dropping them in favour of 'better' ones. It reminded me of my collie, Isla - collies always seemed to pick up odd compulsive habits for no apparent reason. In Isla's case, it manifested when we moved her kennel from behind my parent's bedroom to the bottom of the garden. We'd had this wendy house on stilts, with a large space underneath that a kid could easily stand upright in. As we were now all grown, the wendy house was rarely used, and so dad converted the area underneath into a kennel with a little flagstoned area, and contained with a fabric net so that she could still see outside into the garden.
Dad was so proud when we put her to bed that night - which only turned into consternation when we got up the next morning to find her lying outside the back door. A quick investigation found the method - a chewed hole in the net. Hence replacement of the fabric net with wire netting. However, same thing the next night - albeit with a slightly more painful grin from Isla. Next step - getting thick wire netting with very small holes so that she couldn't bite into it - for her safety as much as keeping her in the kennel overnight.
For the next few nights everything seemed fine. Every morning we'd go down to the kennel and she'd be sitting inside, waiting to be let out. Bring on the weekend - and suddenly she was back to greeting us at the door. However - this time there was absolutely no indicator of how she'd escaped. Netting in place, door tightly shut - we'd somehow become the owners of the genuine canine Houdini. The battle continued for a few months further between dad and Isla, with the kennel being constantly upgraded and Isla mysteriously beating all improvements, until mum caved and started letting her sleep in the nice warm conservatory every night. And who says humans are the clever ones?
Dave's collie finally decided on a stone he liked, and with a happy toss of the head ran into the lake to chase the younger. Dave laughed, and started telling me about how when he was a puppy, they had to repeatedly take him to the vet's to remove all the stones in his stomach. We continued sharing stories until we suddenly hit upon the topic of holidays.
"Oh, that reminds me! You know I said I'd come visit you?"
He scrunched up his face. "Oh god, yeah, how could I forget about that horrible threat?"
"Yeah yeah, you know you'll miss me. Anyway, I was thinking, instead of me coming to Philadelphia... how about we make it a holiday for both of us? You'll be in Philadelphia for half of the year anyway, and there's so many amazing places in America to visit, so we might as well make the most of it!"
"Yes! That's such a good idea! We could go to Chicago, or Boston..."
"Or, I was thinking, maybe even somewhere like Hawaii!"
He stopped and gave me a look. "Uh... how far away do you think Hawaii is from Philadelphia?"
I returned the funny look. "Surely not that far. You'd just have to nip across the country and then it must be quite close to the coast, right? And internal flights are so cheap in America!"
He shook his head at me in disbelief. "I can't... Yeah, I'm not explaining that one, I'll let you look up the costs and how long it takes and then come back to me on that one... Maybe a better idea is going south along the east coast, there's always Miami and New Orleans, all that area..."
"Oh!" I exclaimed, a thought coming to me. Dave mock covered his eyes, already despairing of whatever suggestion I had.
"Oh shh, this is actually a good suggestion! Philadelphia is quite north, right?"
Dave cautiously nodded.
"Well, how about heading up to Canada? Isn't Toronto quite near the border?"
His face lit up. "Wait, that is a good idea! And then we can go see Niagara Falls as well, that was on my list of things to go see whilst I'm out there!"
I started getting excited too. "Yes! And I've always wanted to go to Canada, I'm even thinking of looking for oil and gas jobs out there maybe, so it would be amazing! Plus don't they have that really tall tower you can eat in? We should have a super duper fancy meal up there and pretend to be really posh - except it won't actually be pretending for you..."
"You, stop it!" He pushed me off the path and into the muddy bog, laughing as I gasped at the cold slime creeping into my trainers.
"Oh, you did not just do that!" I chased after him down the path, determined to get revenge one way or another.
Saturday, 21 March 2015
Festive Perfection
As the train pulled away from Edinburgh, it felt like all of the stress and tension of the last semester was draining out of me. I had two books and my mp3 player ready to distract me over the next three hours until home, but before I knew it my eyes had closed, and I'd passed out into a dreamless sleep.
A buzzing in my pocket woke me up. Squinting outside, I saw that we were almost at my home station. The buzzing turned out to be a message from my mum, just letting me know where she was parked. I'd also missed a few snapchats from Bob and the others - from the sounds of it, the bar crawl was going very very well.
As the train slowed down, I double checked I had everything on me and hauled my bags out onto the platform. Walking around the station building, I immediately saw my mum waving from the car. I ran over and dumped my stuff in the back, before climbing into the front seat and leaning straight over to give my mum a hug.
"Hey, you! Someone's glad to be home!"
"You have no idea..." I muttered into her shoulder, surreptitiously wiping a few tears away.
I was quite happy to let mum chatter away on the drive home, filling me in on the local community and what everyone had been up to since summer. Living out in the country, the village grapevine was thriving and well, meaning nothing ever stayed secret for long. On the other side, whenever anything bad happened, it meant you had an entire community immediately there to help. In the summer, when my neighbour's barn had burned to the ground due to an electrical fault, they could hardly move for all the offers of help that had poured in.
I felt myself begin to truly relax as we wound up the country roads towards our house. I'd missed the countryside so much - as a city, Edinburgh is beautiful, but it doesn't hold a patch to the forests and rolling hills of my home. Every house we passed was lit up by Christmas lights, adding yet more beauty to the landscape.
When we opened the front door, the house was silent apart from a sliver of light from under the living room door. I went to drop my bags off in my room first - I knew once I sat down in there, I wouldn't be moving for the rest of the evening. I'd just shrugged off my backpack when I heard running steps behind me and two forces rugby tackled me onto my bed.
"Jaaaaaane! You're home!"
Laughing, I wriggled out from underneath Peter and Alyssa and started messing up their hair. "I am! Finally!"
"Come on, hurry up, you need to come through to the lounge!" They both grabbed my hands and pulled me down the corridor.
Going into the lounge was every bit as amazing as I'd been dreaming of. There was tinsel on every picture frame, and Christmas cards adorned every shelf - and the tree, oh the tree was beautiful - filling up the corner of the room, glowing softly with its multicoloured lights and every inch of it covered with decorations. The fire was roaring and the scent of pine floated through the room. It was perfect, and as my dad enfolded me in a giant bear hug, everything seemed to hit at once and I started sobbing into his jumper.
"Hey, hey, it's OK, you're home!" Dad led me over to the sofa and let me lie down and cuddle into him, as Alyssa and Peter stared at me in worry.
"Sorry - I'm OK, I really am - they're happy tears, honestly. I'm just so glad to be home. These past few months have been awful. I'm just so happy to be home and able to relax and actually sleep for three weeks!" I smiled and tried to wipe away the tears from my face as mum opened the door. Isla came bounding into the room, and made a beeline for my sofa as soon as she noticed me. I couldn't help but giggle as she enthusiastically started licking my face clean.
Moving onto the floor so I could properly cuddle her, I noticed Alyssa and Peter impatiently waiting with something behind their backs.
"Surprise! We kept your Christmas decorations for you!"
"And not just one - Peter liked one, but I liked this other one better, and as you missed putting up the tree we thought you deserved two." Alyssa held out something sparkly to me in her hand.
It was a family tradition with us - every year, each of us kids got a new decoration to put up. It meant our tree was always a glorious hotch-potch of mismatched, weird and wonderful decorations telling a story of places visited, of unique decorations found and of whatever theme had been the craze that year (leading from three tiny sparkling Harry Potter lightning bolts, to the Frozen Planet year where we each had a polar bear, a penguin and a narwhal decoration between us).
Alyssa's decoration for me was a gorgeous, delicate shimmering collection of snowflake strands, tinkling against each other. Peter's was a fluorescent green shimmering orb with a picture of a collie on it. I adored them both, and pulled both of them into a giant hug with the dog in the middle, feeling perfectly content.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christmas morning passed in a wonderful blur of Santa presents, helping mum in the kitchen and taking the dog for a walk with dad. I know I'm a bit old for Santa presents, but having two younger siblings, my mum always feels she can't not provide me with something to wake up to in the morning. As Alyssa and Peter have grown older and more appreciative of lie-ins, I've slowly become the person to get up first on Christmas morning to help mum stuff the turkey.
After Christmas lunch, we settled down in the lounge, stomachs full to bursting, to swap our family presents. To keep Isla happy, she always got to 'open' hers first, which mainly involved us half opening the wrapped bones and treats until she could smell them, and then she generally took care of the rest. This year we'd also bought her a new bed, which she immediately curled up on with a bone in the middle of the room.
I'd bought Alyssa a pair of book-themed earrings from Etsy, with the character names 'Tess' and 'Angel' from Tess of the d'Urbervilles in each ear - it was one of her favourite books and she adored the BBC adaptation with Eddie Redmayne as Angel.
For Peter, he'd been joking with me for ages about stealing Dave's giant beanbag from the flat to give to him, so I'd actually found him one of those 'gamer chair' beanbags that support your back whilst you sit on them. It was in a massive box, so we hadn't actually put it under the tree, and I had to go carry it in from my room. It was completely worth it for the look on his face - both when I entered with this giant box, and when he opened it to find his beanbag inside.
Time flew past for the rest of the afternoon enjoying our gifts and playing board games. I nipped back to my room for a second to check my phone and reply to all the Christmas well wishers. Working through all the generic 'Merry Christmas' messages, I hit across one from Bob: Ahh! Doctor Who in an hour!
Checking the timestamp on the text, I realised it was less than ten minutes until it came on. Jumping off the bed, I ran down the hall into the lounge.
"Guys! Doctor Who time! Ten minutes!"
Peter whooped and high fived me, whilst Alyssa made a face.
"No, do we really have to? It's Christmas, who wants to watch some stupid sci fi programme, let's watch a film..."
Dad ruffled her hair from behind. "Come on Ally, it's a Christmas tradition! And we'll watch a film after, your choice..." Slightly placated, she leaned back against dad and was soon absorbed back into her book.
I lay down on my stomach in front of the fire with a cushion to rest my arms on, soaking up the heat. My phone buzzed again: Are you ready...?!
I grinned to myself and quickly typed back. Yes! Who do you take me for? Wouldn't miss this for anything!
He texted back straight away. Well, hobbits are very hard to predict at times...
Peter looked up as I giggled, and shared a look with Alyssa.
"Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep!"
I glanced up in confusion. "Uh... why exactly are you guys beeping?"
They dissolved into laughter. "It's the Bob alarm!"
"Yeah, every time you talk about him, or start texting him, the Bob alarm goes off!"
I frowned at them. "Well, how do you know I'm even texting him now?"
Alyssa raised an eyebrow. "Fine. Who are you texting?"
I blushed deep red and looked down.
"Knew it! Beep beep beep!"
Luckily at that point the Doctor Who theme music started, and dad shushed everyone before they could say any more. Clearly, though, I needed to get more of a control on how much I talked about Bob - not exactly a good mark in the 'I'm completely over him' argument I'd been trying to convince myself of for so long.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before I knew it, the holidays had flown past to my next major landmark - my birthday. Having a birthday between Christmas and New Year was something people always assumed I'd be upset about - after all, what about all those joint presents I must get? And what about the fact that no one was ever around?
Luckily, as my gran had a birthday on Boxing Day, my mum had been raised with the very strong mentality that giving joint birthday/Christmas presents was never acceptable. It was true that people were never around - but honestly, I liked just spending the day with my family and getting full control over the dinner menu. I went through phases of what birthday cakes I wanted: when I was younger, I had a bone cake made from swiss rolls and white fondant icing for a good four years, before graduating to 'fish cakes' decorated with white chocolate buttons. Recently, I'd formed a little obsession with my mum's pecan pie, and I'd been craving it for months. Not the most orthodox 'birthday cake', but it is the one day I can't be judged!
And this year, it wasn't going to be a completely relaxing day anyway. I had train tickets booked for 7am tomorrow to head down to England, to spend New Year with Dave before he left. On one hand I couldn't wait - I'd never met his adorable dogs, and it would be fantastic to have some revision stress-free time together. On the other hand I didn't want tomorrow morning to ever arrive... The thought of not seeing Dave again until September killed me a little inside. What would I do without my best friend and flatmate to keep me entertained in the evenings? Who would I feed all my failed culinary creations to? Who would I have to give me tough love when I needed it? It felt like a little piece of my heart was going to leave with him.
A hand waving in front of my face brought me back to earth.
"Calling Jane, calling Jane, is she there? It's our turn!"
Grinning, I took the box of cards from my mum and turned to face Alyssa and Peter. I'd got the board game Articulate for my birthday, and we were absolutely loving it.
"OK, the topic is places... let's go!" Mum quickly turned over the timer, as Alyssa and Peter waited for me to start explaining. "Right, it's a big bit of water, not an ocean or a lake but somewhere in between-"
"A sea!" Peter exclaimed.
"Yes! But a particular one, it's a colour..."
"Red Sea! Red Sea!" I shook my head at Alyssa. "No, the other one! Other colour!"
"Green sea! Blue sea! Purple sea!" I started laughing helplessly, frantically waving to indicate Alyssa should keep going. Peter rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Alyssa! Black Sea!"
"Yes!" I put the card down and kept going. We managed to get three right before the timer ran out, which wasn't bad considering my particularly awful geography knowledge.
As dad picked up the cards, we all turned to face him in anticipation.
"Any reason they're all staring at me like that...?" Dad muttered to mum next to him.
She laughed and patted his shoulder. "Let's say you have a rather... unusual... way of thinking, dear. It's fine though, I've not been with you over 25 years without learning how your brain works! Let's thrash them!"
They were also on places, so shaking my head at my mum's competitive spirit, I turned the timer over and set dad off.
"OK, it's a place." He paused and looked at mum expectantly.
"Yes, I get that, keep going!"
"We've been there." He paused again, whilst mum stared back in frustration. "Go on, guess!"
"You've not exactly narrowed it down! Scotland? England? France? Italy? Australia?"
Dad was shaking his head. "No, no, you're miles off. I had them in the World Cup sweepstake we did."
"What, the one we did six months ago where you had six different countries?!"
At this point all three of us kids were in hysterics.
"Dad - what even...?" gasped Alyssa before the laughter took over again.
"Shhh, you're wasting our time! Jamaica?"
Dad nodded energetically. "Closer! What's next to Jamaica? Big country!"
Mum stilled and looked at him in disbelief. "Please tell me you've not been trying to describe America." Peter and I looked at each other and crumpled against the sofa, almost in tears from laughing so hard.
"Yes!" Dad grinned and threw the card down as the timer ran out.
"Dad - literally anything - stars and stripes, Obama as president, Washington as capital? Next to Canada? Anything!" I wiped the tears from my eyes, my full stomach hurting from all the laughter.
At that point the dog, woken up by all the hilarity, ran over to dad and jumped up to lick his face. He put an arm around her and tickled her ears, pulling her close. "You appreciate me and my logical thinking, don't you Isla? Even if that lot don't!"
I leaned back against the sofa and smiled as the teasing continued. This is why I loved my birthday being where it was - I had my family, my dog, and my home, still filled with the smells of the Christmas tree, the wood burning in the fireplace and the lingering aroma of gorgeously cooked food. How could any birthday be better than this?
A buzzing in my pocket woke me up. Squinting outside, I saw that we were almost at my home station. The buzzing turned out to be a message from my mum, just letting me know where she was parked. I'd also missed a few snapchats from Bob and the others - from the sounds of it, the bar crawl was going very very well.
As the train slowed down, I double checked I had everything on me and hauled my bags out onto the platform. Walking around the station building, I immediately saw my mum waving from the car. I ran over and dumped my stuff in the back, before climbing into the front seat and leaning straight over to give my mum a hug.
"Hey, you! Someone's glad to be home!"
"You have no idea..." I muttered into her shoulder, surreptitiously wiping a few tears away.
I was quite happy to let mum chatter away on the drive home, filling me in on the local community and what everyone had been up to since summer. Living out in the country, the village grapevine was thriving and well, meaning nothing ever stayed secret for long. On the other side, whenever anything bad happened, it meant you had an entire community immediately there to help. In the summer, when my neighbour's barn had burned to the ground due to an electrical fault, they could hardly move for all the offers of help that had poured in.
I felt myself begin to truly relax as we wound up the country roads towards our house. I'd missed the countryside so much - as a city, Edinburgh is beautiful, but it doesn't hold a patch to the forests and rolling hills of my home. Every house we passed was lit up by Christmas lights, adding yet more beauty to the landscape.
When we opened the front door, the house was silent apart from a sliver of light from under the living room door. I went to drop my bags off in my room first - I knew once I sat down in there, I wouldn't be moving for the rest of the evening. I'd just shrugged off my backpack when I heard running steps behind me and two forces rugby tackled me onto my bed.
"Jaaaaaane! You're home!"
Laughing, I wriggled out from underneath Peter and Alyssa and started messing up their hair. "I am! Finally!"
"Come on, hurry up, you need to come through to the lounge!" They both grabbed my hands and pulled me down the corridor.
Going into the lounge was every bit as amazing as I'd been dreaming of. There was tinsel on every picture frame, and Christmas cards adorned every shelf - and the tree, oh the tree was beautiful - filling up the corner of the room, glowing softly with its multicoloured lights and every inch of it covered with decorations. The fire was roaring and the scent of pine floated through the room. It was perfect, and as my dad enfolded me in a giant bear hug, everything seemed to hit at once and I started sobbing into his jumper.
"Hey, hey, it's OK, you're home!" Dad led me over to the sofa and let me lie down and cuddle into him, as Alyssa and Peter stared at me in worry.
"Sorry - I'm OK, I really am - they're happy tears, honestly. I'm just so glad to be home. These past few months have been awful. I'm just so happy to be home and able to relax and actually sleep for three weeks!" I smiled and tried to wipe away the tears from my face as mum opened the door. Isla came bounding into the room, and made a beeline for my sofa as soon as she noticed me. I couldn't help but giggle as she enthusiastically started licking my face clean.
Moving onto the floor so I could properly cuddle her, I noticed Alyssa and Peter impatiently waiting with something behind their backs.
"Surprise! We kept your Christmas decorations for you!"
"And not just one - Peter liked one, but I liked this other one better, and as you missed putting up the tree we thought you deserved two." Alyssa held out something sparkly to me in her hand.
It was a family tradition with us - every year, each of us kids got a new decoration to put up. It meant our tree was always a glorious hotch-potch of mismatched, weird and wonderful decorations telling a story of places visited, of unique decorations found and of whatever theme had been the craze that year (leading from three tiny sparkling Harry Potter lightning bolts, to the Frozen Planet year where we each had a polar bear, a penguin and a narwhal decoration between us).
Alyssa's decoration for me was a gorgeous, delicate shimmering collection of snowflake strands, tinkling against each other. Peter's was a fluorescent green shimmering orb with a picture of a collie on it. I adored them both, and pulled both of them into a giant hug with the dog in the middle, feeling perfectly content.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christmas morning passed in a wonderful blur of Santa presents, helping mum in the kitchen and taking the dog for a walk with dad. I know I'm a bit old for Santa presents, but having two younger siblings, my mum always feels she can't not provide me with something to wake up to in the morning. As Alyssa and Peter have grown older and more appreciative of lie-ins, I've slowly become the person to get up first on Christmas morning to help mum stuff the turkey.
After Christmas lunch, we settled down in the lounge, stomachs full to bursting, to swap our family presents. To keep Isla happy, she always got to 'open' hers first, which mainly involved us half opening the wrapped bones and treats until she could smell them, and then she generally took care of the rest. This year we'd also bought her a new bed, which she immediately curled up on with a bone in the middle of the room.
I'd bought Alyssa a pair of book-themed earrings from Etsy, with the character names 'Tess' and 'Angel' from Tess of the d'Urbervilles in each ear - it was one of her favourite books and she adored the BBC adaptation with Eddie Redmayne as Angel.
For Peter, he'd been joking with me for ages about stealing Dave's giant beanbag from the flat to give to him, so I'd actually found him one of those 'gamer chair' beanbags that support your back whilst you sit on them. It was in a massive box, so we hadn't actually put it under the tree, and I had to go carry it in from my room. It was completely worth it for the look on his face - both when I entered with this giant box, and when he opened it to find his beanbag inside.
Time flew past for the rest of the afternoon enjoying our gifts and playing board games. I nipped back to my room for a second to check my phone and reply to all the Christmas well wishers. Working through all the generic 'Merry Christmas' messages, I hit across one from Bob: Ahh! Doctor Who in an hour!
Checking the timestamp on the text, I realised it was less than ten minutes until it came on. Jumping off the bed, I ran down the hall into the lounge.
"Guys! Doctor Who time! Ten minutes!"
Peter whooped and high fived me, whilst Alyssa made a face.
"No, do we really have to? It's Christmas, who wants to watch some stupid sci fi programme, let's watch a film..."
Dad ruffled her hair from behind. "Come on Ally, it's a Christmas tradition! And we'll watch a film after, your choice..." Slightly placated, she leaned back against dad and was soon absorbed back into her book.
I lay down on my stomach in front of the fire with a cushion to rest my arms on, soaking up the heat. My phone buzzed again: Are you ready...?!
I grinned to myself and quickly typed back. Yes! Who do you take me for? Wouldn't miss this for anything!
He texted back straight away. Well, hobbits are very hard to predict at times...
Peter looked up as I giggled, and shared a look with Alyssa.
"Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep!"
I glanced up in confusion. "Uh... why exactly are you guys beeping?"
They dissolved into laughter. "It's the Bob alarm!"
"Yeah, every time you talk about him, or start texting him, the Bob alarm goes off!"
I frowned at them. "Well, how do you know I'm even texting him now?"
Alyssa raised an eyebrow. "Fine. Who are you texting?"
I blushed deep red and looked down.
"Knew it! Beep beep beep!"
Luckily at that point the Doctor Who theme music started, and dad shushed everyone before they could say any more. Clearly, though, I needed to get more of a control on how much I talked about Bob - not exactly a good mark in the 'I'm completely over him' argument I'd been trying to convince myself of for so long.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before I knew it, the holidays had flown past to my next major landmark - my birthday. Having a birthday between Christmas and New Year was something people always assumed I'd be upset about - after all, what about all those joint presents I must get? And what about the fact that no one was ever around?
Luckily, as my gran had a birthday on Boxing Day, my mum had been raised with the very strong mentality that giving joint birthday/Christmas presents was never acceptable. It was true that people were never around - but honestly, I liked just spending the day with my family and getting full control over the dinner menu. I went through phases of what birthday cakes I wanted: when I was younger, I had a bone cake made from swiss rolls and white fondant icing for a good four years, before graduating to 'fish cakes' decorated with white chocolate buttons. Recently, I'd formed a little obsession with my mum's pecan pie, and I'd been craving it for months. Not the most orthodox 'birthday cake', but it is the one day I can't be judged!
And this year, it wasn't going to be a completely relaxing day anyway. I had train tickets booked for 7am tomorrow to head down to England, to spend New Year with Dave before he left. On one hand I couldn't wait - I'd never met his adorable dogs, and it would be fantastic to have some revision stress-free time together. On the other hand I didn't want tomorrow morning to ever arrive... The thought of not seeing Dave again until September killed me a little inside. What would I do without my best friend and flatmate to keep me entertained in the evenings? Who would I feed all my failed culinary creations to? Who would I have to give me tough love when I needed it? It felt like a little piece of my heart was going to leave with him.
A hand waving in front of my face brought me back to earth.
"Calling Jane, calling Jane, is she there? It's our turn!"
Grinning, I took the box of cards from my mum and turned to face Alyssa and Peter. I'd got the board game Articulate for my birthday, and we were absolutely loving it.
"OK, the topic is places... let's go!" Mum quickly turned over the timer, as Alyssa and Peter waited for me to start explaining. "Right, it's a big bit of water, not an ocean or a lake but somewhere in between-"
"A sea!" Peter exclaimed.
"Yes! But a particular one, it's a colour..."
"Red Sea! Red Sea!" I shook my head at Alyssa. "No, the other one! Other colour!"
"Green sea! Blue sea! Purple sea!" I started laughing helplessly, frantically waving to indicate Alyssa should keep going. Peter rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Alyssa! Black Sea!"
"Yes!" I put the card down and kept going. We managed to get three right before the timer ran out, which wasn't bad considering my particularly awful geography knowledge.
As dad picked up the cards, we all turned to face him in anticipation.
"Any reason they're all staring at me like that...?" Dad muttered to mum next to him.
She laughed and patted his shoulder. "Let's say you have a rather... unusual... way of thinking, dear. It's fine though, I've not been with you over 25 years without learning how your brain works! Let's thrash them!"
They were also on places, so shaking my head at my mum's competitive spirit, I turned the timer over and set dad off.
"OK, it's a place." He paused and looked at mum expectantly.
"Yes, I get that, keep going!"
"We've been there." He paused again, whilst mum stared back in frustration. "Go on, guess!"
"You've not exactly narrowed it down! Scotland? England? France? Italy? Australia?"
Dad was shaking his head. "No, no, you're miles off. I had them in the World Cup sweepstake we did."
"What, the one we did six months ago where you had six different countries?!"
At this point all three of us kids were in hysterics.
"Dad - what even...?" gasped Alyssa before the laughter took over again.
"Shhh, you're wasting our time! Jamaica?"
Dad nodded energetically. "Closer! What's next to Jamaica? Big country!"
Mum stilled and looked at him in disbelief. "Please tell me you've not been trying to describe America." Peter and I looked at each other and crumpled against the sofa, almost in tears from laughing so hard.
"Yes!" Dad grinned and threw the card down as the timer ran out.
"Dad - literally anything - stars and stripes, Obama as president, Washington as capital? Next to Canada? Anything!" I wiped the tears from my eyes, my full stomach hurting from all the laughter.
At that point the dog, woken up by all the hilarity, ran over to dad and jumped up to lick his face. He put an arm around her and tickled her ears, pulling her close. "You appreciate me and my logical thinking, don't you Isla? Even if that lot don't!"
I leaned back against the sofa and smiled as the teasing continued. This is why I loved my birthday being where it was - I had my family, my dog, and my home, still filled with the smells of the Christmas tree, the wood burning in the fireplace and the lingering aroma of gorgeously cooked food. How could any birthday be better than this?
Monday, 16 March 2015
Author's Note: Apologies
Hi everyone,
I know I've been absent recently, but I should be back up and writing very soon!
There's no excuse for not updating sooner. The reason is that the past month went a little crazy - there were a huge number of job cuts at work, plus lots of travelling for training. In addition... for the first time since my best friend broke my heart a year and a half ago, there was a guy I was interested in. There were so many red flags, but every time I questioned if he was really ready for a relationship, he'd convince me to see where it went, or tell me that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me. And I fell for him hard and fast, completely head over heels, and in between the work madness I've been spending every free minute with him.
Untill yesterday, when he suddenly decided that I had been right and there was too much going on in his life for any form of relationship. I'm running on very little sleep and it was a horrible day at work, but now I'm finally home I think I'm OK. Even if I'm not, I will be.
And the good news is that I will have a lot more time to start writing again now, so hopefully next post will be up this weekend. This guy will eventually work into the blog one way or another and you'll learn all (although there is a LOT of drama to come first!). All I can do is apologise for the hiatus and for not giving an explanation sooner.
Thursday, 26 February 2015
The Revision Vignettes: 7. Sandwich Wench
It was here! Finally! The last exam!
I'd booked my train for this evening so I could go straight home. I couldn't wait - all the excitement I'd been holding down over the last few weeks had finally broken free and I couldn't sit still, couldn't concentrate.
After a few hours of me fidgeting and twitching, Bob had had enough.
"That's it, we need a lunch break!" He slammed his notebook shut and stood up, stretching.
"Are you sure? Do you not want me to go over the tutorial answers a few more times?" I asked worriedly, not wanting him to go to the exam unprepared.
"Definitely! It's probably the exam I'm least worried about... Either that or I genuinely can't care about them any more..."
"Probably the latter!" I agreed, grinning.
"Besides, you're so twitchy today, I can't concentrate. We need to go do something fun for an hour."
"Well, what do you suggest? Game of Thrones is finished, and you refuse to play that weird street fighting game with me any more..."
After finishing Game of Thrones, Bob had introduced me to this strange fighting game with characters from various comics/cartoons. Without fail he'd thrashed me for days, until I'd accidentally stumbled upon an attack I could button mash to death that he couldn't beat. After that one loss to me, Bob had flat out refused to play any more.
"Well, you're going to laugh at this, but Gary got me into Fifa last night... want a game?"
I stared at him in fake shock. "You? Football?! Oh my god, what imposter are you?!"
"Yeah, yeah, are you coming or not?"
"Of course I am, this is a game I might actually beat you at! Not missing this for the world!" He smirked and mussed up my hair as he passed my chair in reply. Giving it a quick shake (one benefit of letting it dry naturally was that it always bounced straight back into a semi-normal shape), I followed through and claimed my usual space on the sofa.
As the game loaded up after choosing our teams, I suddenly realised that I'd never played on a PlayStation before.
"Bob, what buttons do what?"
"Uh, no. You told me that you were beating me at this. I'm not giving you any help."
"Hey, not fair! I've only ever played on Xbox!"
"And that's my problem how, exactly?" As I protested loudly, his grin just grew wider. "Oh, and didn't I mention? We're playing Fifa Apology Rules..."
As my stomach sank, the whistle blew and Bob's player immediately ran past mine. Pressing what I thought was the sprint button, a giggle escaped as my player completely wiped out Bob's with a horrendously dirty tackle.
"Oh really, Jane? Well, if that's the way it's going to be, you're going down..."
Five red cards, twelve goals and ten minutes later, I had to admit that I might have actually been better at the street fighting game, despite my unintentional expertise with the dirty tackle button.
Bob leaned back in his chair with a satisfied grin. "I don't even know what the Apology Rules are for losing twelve nil! What happened to 'this might be the game I beat you at', hmm Jane?"
"Well clearly, you didn't tell me what the buttons were. Blame the software, not the player..." I tried to defend myself, but knew it wasn't worth it.
"As the very clear winner, I feel you should look up your punishment!" He proclaimed, waving his hand at me regally.
"Don't push your luck..." I muttered under my breath as I quickly googled the rules. Skimming through, I paused awkwardly at number twelve.
"Go on, what is it? What entertainment do I have as my prize?" Bob asked smugly.
I looked up at the ceiling, refusing to meet his gaze. "Um... well, apparently... I'm meant to play the next game naked."
There was a moment of excruciatingly painful silence as we looked anywhere but at each other.
"Nope, not doing that."
"Yeah, that's not happening."
Our simultaneous rejections of the rule spilled over each other, both of us laughing nervously as we finally looked at each other.
"OK, well as reigning victor, I shall create a new rule - as my losing football wench, you must make me a sandwich!"
"Fine, I guess I can cope with that one!" I sighed, silently relieved it wasn't anything worse.
"So... up for another game?"
I squinted suspiciously over at him. "Can we not do the Apology Rules?"
He shook his head sadly. "No can do, I'm afraid, those are the rules and the rules can't be broken!"
I shook my finger at him dramatically. "I know your game, good sir, you just want free sandwiches!"
"Damn, my evil plan is discovered! But the real question is, can you foil it..." He cackled evilly, setting me off into a laughing fit with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I zipped up my backpack, I couldn't keep my massive grin off my face. The exam had been an absolute gift, I'd even managed to leave half an hour early. Knowing that most of my friends would stay in until the end and then immediately go on a bar crawl, I'd headed back to mine to crash for a little bit before I had to head to the train station. I really hated goodbyes - even if just for a holiday - and I'd rather run away and celebrate the end of exams in my own way rather than face the hundreds of hugs and promises to catch up over the New Year (when I knew I wouldn't be moving from in front of my parents' fireplace for anything less than the nuclear holocaust).
Strolling through to double check I'd emptied the fridge of anything potentially stinky over the next few weeks, I was surprised to hear the flat buzzer go off. Dave had already headed home, and I wasn't expecting anyone else over. Thinking that it was just someone pressing the wrong button, I pressed to open the door to the stairwell without even listening to the speakerphone.
A minute later, I almost screamed as mystery arms picked me up from behind and whirled me around. Heart pounding, I suddenly recognised the very familiar voice laughing in my ears before he gently put me down.
"And that is an excellent lesson of why I should keep the flat door locked at all times!" I breathlessly managed, leaning against the wall as my heartrate slowly began to calm.
Bob looked down into my face, grinning happily. "Don't know why you thought you could escape me, I wasn't going to let you go without saying goodbye for the holidays!"
My stomach melted a little and I smiled goofily. "Oh, and also, you forgot your charger!" I poked myself mentally as I took the cable off him.
"Ah, good thing you noticed that, I hadn't even realised I'd forgotten it. Thanks for bringing it back for me."
He followed me through to my room as I went to put it in my bag before I forgot. Grabbing my bag, I shooed him out the door before locking it.
"I'm off to the station already, I can't face another day of missing Christmas at home." I smiled happily at Bob, the excitement of the holidays filling me up again.
"I know, you and your Christmas madness. I hope they've saved you a few decorations to put on the tree!"
"They'd better have, else I'm just taking a heap of them off to put on again!" Bob laughed as we reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Well... I guess that's me off..." I smiled awkwardly up at him, not sure whether to go in for the hug or not.
"How am I going to cope without seeing you every single day now?" He grinned warmly down at me, before smirking. "Oh wait - it's what I've been dreaming of, it's going to be amazing!"
"Ha!" I poked him in the side then swiped the back of his head as he crumpled over. "See, serves you right for being so mean to me!"
He wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug and held me, arms trapped, until I stopped struggling. "Stop it, you hobbit, I'm trying to give you a proper hug before you go!" He muttered, smiling.
"Funny way you give proper hugs, I feel like a sardine in a tin." I muttered back, but couldn't help laughing. "I'll miss you too, you nutcase. Have an amazing Christmas - you definitely deserve it after this semester."
"You too, little one." He let me go and patted me on the head, before heading back up the road. I stood there watching him, smiling but feeling a little sad at not having our crazy conversations every day for the next two weeks. Halfway up he turned around and caught me watching.
"Get going, you creeper!"
Laughing, I hoisted my bag higher up my shoulder and turned the other way. Finally, I was going home.
I'd booked my train for this evening so I could go straight home. I couldn't wait - all the excitement I'd been holding down over the last few weeks had finally broken free and I couldn't sit still, couldn't concentrate.
After a few hours of me fidgeting and twitching, Bob had had enough.
"That's it, we need a lunch break!" He slammed his notebook shut and stood up, stretching.
"Are you sure? Do you not want me to go over the tutorial answers a few more times?" I asked worriedly, not wanting him to go to the exam unprepared.
"Definitely! It's probably the exam I'm least worried about... Either that or I genuinely can't care about them any more..."
"Probably the latter!" I agreed, grinning.
"Besides, you're so twitchy today, I can't concentrate. We need to go do something fun for an hour."
"Well, what do you suggest? Game of Thrones is finished, and you refuse to play that weird street fighting game with me any more..."
After finishing Game of Thrones, Bob had introduced me to this strange fighting game with characters from various comics/cartoons. Without fail he'd thrashed me for days, until I'd accidentally stumbled upon an attack I could button mash to death that he couldn't beat. After that one loss to me, Bob had flat out refused to play any more.
"Well, you're going to laugh at this, but Gary got me into Fifa last night... want a game?"
I stared at him in fake shock. "You? Football?! Oh my god, what imposter are you?!"
"Yeah, yeah, are you coming or not?"
"Of course I am, this is a game I might actually beat you at! Not missing this for the world!" He smirked and mussed up my hair as he passed my chair in reply. Giving it a quick shake (one benefit of letting it dry naturally was that it always bounced straight back into a semi-normal shape), I followed through and claimed my usual space on the sofa.
As the game loaded up after choosing our teams, I suddenly realised that I'd never played on a PlayStation before.
"Bob, what buttons do what?"
"Uh, no. You told me that you were beating me at this. I'm not giving you any help."
"Hey, not fair! I've only ever played on Xbox!"
"And that's my problem how, exactly?" As I protested loudly, his grin just grew wider. "Oh, and didn't I mention? We're playing Fifa Apology Rules..."
As my stomach sank, the whistle blew and Bob's player immediately ran past mine. Pressing what I thought was the sprint button, a giggle escaped as my player completely wiped out Bob's with a horrendously dirty tackle.
"Oh really, Jane? Well, if that's the way it's going to be, you're going down..."
Five red cards, twelve goals and ten minutes later, I had to admit that I might have actually been better at the street fighting game, despite my unintentional expertise with the dirty tackle button.
Bob leaned back in his chair with a satisfied grin. "I don't even know what the Apology Rules are for losing twelve nil! What happened to 'this might be the game I beat you at', hmm Jane?"
"Well clearly, you didn't tell me what the buttons were. Blame the software, not the player..." I tried to defend myself, but knew it wasn't worth it.
"As the very clear winner, I feel you should look up your punishment!" He proclaimed, waving his hand at me regally.
"Don't push your luck..." I muttered under my breath as I quickly googled the rules. Skimming through, I paused awkwardly at number twelve.
"Go on, what is it? What entertainment do I have as my prize?" Bob asked smugly.
I looked up at the ceiling, refusing to meet his gaze. "Um... well, apparently... I'm meant to play the next game naked."
There was a moment of excruciatingly painful silence as we looked anywhere but at each other.
"Nope, not doing that."
"Yeah, that's not happening."
Our simultaneous rejections of the rule spilled over each other, both of us laughing nervously as we finally looked at each other.
"OK, well as reigning victor, I shall create a new rule - as my losing football wench, you must make me a sandwich!"
"Fine, I guess I can cope with that one!" I sighed, silently relieved it wasn't anything worse.
"So... up for another game?"
I squinted suspiciously over at him. "Can we not do the Apology Rules?"
He shook his head sadly. "No can do, I'm afraid, those are the rules and the rules can't be broken!"
I shook my finger at him dramatically. "I know your game, good sir, you just want free sandwiches!"
"Damn, my evil plan is discovered! But the real question is, can you foil it..." He cackled evilly, setting me off into a laughing fit with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I zipped up my backpack, I couldn't keep my massive grin off my face. The exam had been an absolute gift, I'd even managed to leave half an hour early. Knowing that most of my friends would stay in until the end and then immediately go on a bar crawl, I'd headed back to mine to crash for a little bit before I had to head to the train station. I really hated goodbyes - even if just for a holiday - and I'd rather run away and celebrate the end of exams in my own way rather than face the hundreds of hugs and promises to catch up over the New Year (when I knew I wouldn't be moving from in front of my parents' fireplace for anything less than the nuclear holocaust).
Strolling through to double check I'd emptied the fridge of anything potentially stinky over the next few weeks, I was surprised to hear the flat buzzer go off. Dave had already headed home, and I wasn't expecting anyone else over. Thinking that it was just someone pressing the wrong button, I pressed to open the door to the stairwell without even listening to the speakerphone.
A minute later, I almost screamed as mystery arms picked me up from behind and whirled me around. Heart pounding, I suddenly recognised the very familiar voice laughing in my ears before he gently put me down.
"And that is an excellent lesson of why I should keep the flat door locked at all times!" I breathlessly managed, leaning against the wall as my heartrate slowly began to calm.
Bob looked down into my face, grinning happily. "Don't know why you thought you could escape me, I wasn't going to let you go without saying goodbye for the holidays!"
My stomach melted a little and I smiled goofily. "Oh, and also, you forgot your charger!" I poked myself mentally as I took the cable off him.
"Ah, good thing you noticed that, I hadn't even realised I'd forgotten it. Thanks for bringing it back for me."
He followed me through to my room as I went to put it in my bag before I forgot. Grabbing my bag, I shooed him out the door before locking it.
"I'm off to the station already, I can't face another day of missing Christmas at home." I smiled happily at Bob, the excitement of the holidays filling me up again.
"I know, you and your Christmas madness. I hope they've saved you a few decorations to put on the tree!"
"They'd better have, else I'm just taking a heap of them off to put on again!" Bob laughed as we reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Well... I guess that's me off..." I smiled awkwardly up at him, not sure whether to go in for the hug or not.
"How am I going to cope without seeing you every single day now?" He grinned warmly down at me, before smirking. "Oh wait - it's what I've been dreaming of, it's going to be amazing!"
"Ha!" I poked him in the side then swiped the back of his head as he crumpled over. "See, serves you right for being so mean to me!"
He wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug and held me, arms trapped, until I stopped struggling. "Stop it, you hobbit, I'm trying to give you a proper hug before you go!" He muttered, smiling.
"Funny way you give proper hugs, I feel like a sardine in a tin." I muttered back, but couldn't help laughing. "I'll miss you too, you nutcase. Have an amazing Christmas - you definitely deserve it after this semester."
"You too, little one." He let me go and patted me on the head, before heading back up the road. I stood there watching him, smiling but feeling a little sad at not having our crazy conversations every day for the next two weeks. Halfway up he turned around and caught me watching.
"Get going, you creeper!"
Laughing, I hoisted my bag higher up my shoulder and turned the other way. Finally, I was going home.
Tuesday, 24 February 2015
The Revision Vignettes: 6. The Final Countdown
As my alarm went off, I groaned out loud into my pillow. It was the day of the first exam, and as it was a morning one Bob had suggested getting round to his for 6am for some last minute cramming. Personally, I hated cramming - I always felt if you didn't know it by the morning before, then there wasn't much chance of you learning it then.
However, I knew that Bob was really stressed about these exams so I figured if I was able to help him calm down by doing this, then it was worth it. At least, it had been worth it before I realised how much getting up at half 5 would hurt...
After showering and getting dressed in record time, I crept across the hall and tried to open the front door as silently as possible.
"For fuck's sake, Jane."
I muffled a shriek and spun to see Dave standing in his door.
"Jesus, Dave! Don't do that, I'd have thrown something at you!"
"Like I'm not used to you throwing things at me by now." He gave me a half-grin. "But seriously, what the hell? It's before six!"
"Well, Bob suggested last night that we should do some early morning studying before the exam at nine..."
"Oh, sure he did. You only got back in at eleven last night, Jane! Do you jump every time he clicks his fingers now?"
I couldn't help it - the stress of exams, my exhaustion, and the fact that Dave thought now was a good time to accuse me of being any man's puppet - I couldn't hold it back any longer and I exploded.
"Oh really, says the guy who's girlfriend has him wrapped around her finger. You considered not even going to America because she told you to! And actually, I'd do this for anyone, you know I'll go any distance for my friends to help them out. Or have you forgotten how many times I've been there for you when Jess has messed you around? How much time I've spent helping you find accommodation and plan for America? Do I jump for you too Dave, or are you just jealous that it's not just you I'd do that for?" I whispered savagely, taking an angry pleasure in seeing him flinch.
He stood there silently, looking like I'd slapped him. Which in a way, I had.
I slammed out of the front door and stormed down the stairs, furious. I was halfway down the street when I felt something drip onto my hands. Looking up at the clear skies, I suddenly realised tears were pouring down my face.
I didn't even think about it - before I knew it I was back at our building and flying up the stairs, careering around the curve of the stairwell and almost running smack bang into Dave chasing after me. Our apologies immediately started running over each other.
"Dave, I'm so sorry, I'm just so tired and stressed about these exams, I didn't mean to take it out on you-"
"No, Jane, I shouldn't have said that, I know you care about your friends, it was wrong of me to make that into a bad thing-"
"And I just can't deal with arguing with you too on top of it all, you're my best friend-"
"I'm so stressed about America, and leaving you and Jess and everyone behind, and not knowing anyone, and I've barely seen you at all in the flat these last two weeks-"
"It's been these exams, you know what I'm like, I have to do well, I can't let anyone down. I'm a revision robot, nothing else matters. And wait - you know I'm visiting you before you go abandoning me for America, right?"
That made him pause. "Wait, what? As in you're coming to Lancashire?"
"Yes! You spoon! I know I'm a nightmare to be around at the moment, but I wasn't letting you run away without some proper quality time together before you go!"
A massive grin spread across his face as that sank in. "Besides, it's a fantastic excuse to finally meet your dogs, and make them love me more than you so they'll come home with me." I added, teasing.
"Well, that makes everything much better. And you can have the dogs, they're a pain!"
"Don't go making promises that I'll take you up on... But I'm sorry, I'd completely forgotten to tell you that I'd come visit. If that's OK with your parents, of course?"
"Don't be silly, Jane, they adore you. Is there any chance you'll get home at a decent time sometime this week so we can sort out dates and things?" He smiled as he said it, making sure I knew that wasn't another dig.
"I'll be back around lunchtime after the exam for a few hours today if you're around? I'll be revising late afternoon and evening for the exam tomorrow, but I'll need at least a little break after today's."
He nodded and said he'd be in all day, and promised to have his signature lunch dish of fish finger sandwiches ready for me when I got back from the exam. Giving him a grin (as we always had a joke of being one of the few friends in our group who 'didn't do hugs'), I turned and properly headed over to Bob's this time.
As soon as I sat down, he noticed my red eyes. "Hey, are you OK? What's wrong?"
"You are far too perceptive for this time in the morning." I grumbled to myself. "Nothing, it's fine, just the exhaustion and stress getting a bit too much for me."
He nodded, looking exhausted himself. "You're telling me. I could barely sleep, I ended up reading past papers at half three this morning. There's just so much I don't know Jane, I don't feel ready for this at all, every year they ask this weird bizarre question that I'm certain wasn't even in the notes..."
"Shhh, it's OK, I have a plan." I tried to calm him down as his voice rose higher in panic.
"So, each paper has three questions. There's the standard one that repeats each year, a slightly harder one that still seems to repeat in variations of three or four different approaches, and then, as you noticed, the insane one. Don't even worry about the insane one - that only counts for 30%, and unless you know the course back to front or are very lucky, I wouldn't focus on that one right now."
He gave half a laugh. "The crazy question - also known as, the one that only Jane will be able to answer because you have a photographic memory. It really winds me up that we've spent exactly the same time revising and you're still ahead of me on every course!"
I blushed slightly. "It's not photographic, I'm just really good at remembering patterns... and as I said, going to the lectures and tutorials at the time helped! Anyway, let's focus on getting the method down for that first question, there's no reason for you to drop any of the easy marks..."
Two hours later, I'd coached Bob though the methods for the first and second questions, or at least as I'd predicted them.
"OK, and then after we differentiate, what do we do...?" I trailed off, raising my eyebrows at Bob.
"We stick the limits in! Um... the limits being..." He paused, frustration creasing his face.
"It's OK, just think. Is this a quick or a slow reaction?"
"Oh! Yes, it's what we said, it's a quick one and zero to thirty seconds is quicker than zero to an hour, so that reminds me that the limits are 0 and 30, but if it had been a long one, the limits would have been 0 and an hour, which is 3600 seconds. And then we 'put it in a box', which means that that we have to multiply the three values I have together like working out the volume of a box, and then I imagine yelling at you at that window -" He stopped, laughing briefly, before continuing. "- but instead I'm yelling 'THE UNITS ARE WRONG', which reminds me that I need to convert it back into per second instead of per day which it's currently in."
He looked at me for confirmation, and I grinned. "You've got it! Perfect!"
He grinned broadly. "You know, you'd make the weirdest but most amazing teacher. I don't even know how your brain links all of that together, but it's working!"
"Like I told you, I'm good at patterns - it's all about making the patterns memorable!" I looked at the big clock on the wall and realised that we only had ten minutes before we needed to be heading out.
"Time to get everything together! And I'll keep running all of those processes through with you as we go to the exam, so you've really got it down in your head." I started gathering all my things together, running through my exam checklist in my head. Calculator, student card, two pens plus third emergency pen, emergency pencil, ruler...
"Jane." His serious tone made me look up. "I really, really appreciate all this help. I just wanted you to know."
Embarrassed, I tried to brush it off. "Look at you getting all serious on me. Let's wait until after the exam before you start thanking anyone, OK?"
He laughed. "Actually, great point. But I have faith you've prepared me well. I know you sacrificed your sleep to come help me when you're normally sleeping before an exam, and it's really decent of you."
I blushed harder. "Seriously, stop it! Who are you, and what have you done with the Bob who spends his life being mean to me?"
"I think the exam stress sent him into hibernation... but don't worry, he's been thinking up heaps of great insults, he'll be back to brighten up your life soon enough!"
"Fantastic. I can't wait." As Bob went through to find his student card in his room, I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly. I knew I was prepared for this exam - time to empty my mind of everything non-exam related, and get out there and kick this exam's ass.
However, I knew that Bob was really stressed about these exams so I figured if I was able to help him calm down by doing this, then it was worth it. At least, it had been worth it before I realised how much getting up at half 5 would hurt...
After showering and getting dressed in record time, I crept across the hall and tried to open the front door as silently as possible.
"For fuck's sake, Jane."
I muffled a shriek and spun to see Dave standing in his door.
"Jesus, Dave! Don't do that, I'd have thrown something at you!"
"Like I'm not used to you throwing things at me by now." He gave me a half-grin. "But seriously, what the hell? It's before six!"
"Well, Bob suggested last night that we should do some early morning studying before the exam at nine..."
"Oh, sure he did. You only got back in at eleven last night, Jane! Do you jump every time he clicks his fingers now?"
I couldn't help it - the stress of exams, my exhaustion, and the fact that Dave thought now was a good time to accuse me of being any man's puppet - I couldn't hold it back any longer and I exploded.
"Oh really, says the guy who's girlfriend has him wrapped around her finger. You considered not even going to America because she told you to! And actually, I'd do this for anyone, you know I'll go any distance for my friends to help them out. Or have you forgotten how many times I've been there for you when Jess has messed you around? How much time I've spent helping you find accommodation and plan for America? Do I jump for you too Dave, or are you just jealous that it's not just you I'd do that for?" I whispered savagely, taking an angry pleasure in seeing him flinch.
He stood there silently, looking like I'd slapped him. Which in a way, I had.
I slammed out of the front door and stormed down the stairs, furious. I was halfway down the street when I felt something drip onto my hands. Looking up at the clear skies, I suddenly realised tears were pouring down my face.
I didn't even think about it - before I knew it I was back at our building and flying up the stairs, careering around the curve of the stairwell and almost running smack bang into Dave chasing after me. Our apologies immediately started running over each other.
"Dave, I'm so sorry, I'm just so tired and stressed about these exams, I didn't mean to take it out on you-"
"No, Jane, I shouldn't have said that, I know you care about your friends, it was wrong of me to make that into a bad thing-"
"And I just can't deal with arguing with you too on top of it all, you're my best friend-"
"I'm so stressed about America, and leaving you and Jess and everyone behind, and not knowing anyone, and I've barely seen you at all in the flat these last two weeks-"
"It's been these exams, you know what I'm like, I have to do well, I can't let anyone down. I'm a revision robot, nothing else matters. And wait - you know I'm visiting you before you go abandoning me for America, right?"
That made him pause. "Wait, what? As in you're coming to Lancashire?"
"Yes! You spoon! I know I'm a nightmare to be around at the moment, but I wasn't letting you run away without some proper quality time together before you go!"
A massive grin spread across his face as that sank in. "Besides, it's a fantastic excuse to finally meet your dogs, and make them love me more than you so they'll come home with me." I added, teasing.
"Well, that makes everything much better. And you can have the dogs, they're a pain!"
"Don't go making promises that I'll take you up on... But I'm sorry, I'd completely forgotten to tell you that I'd come visit. If that's OK with your parents, of course?"
"Don't be silly, Jane, they adore you. Is there any chance you'll get home at a decent time sometime this week so we can sort out dates and things?" He smiled as he said it, making sure I knew that wasn't another dig.
"I'll be back around lunchtime after the exam for a few hours today if you're around? I'll be revising late afternoon and evening for the exam tomorrow, but I'll need at least a little break after today's."
He nodded and said he'd be in all day, and promised to have his signature lunch dish of fish finger sandwiches ready for me when I got back from the exam. Giving him a grin (as we always had a joke of being one of the few friends in our group who 'didn't do hugs'), I turned and properly headed over to Bob's this time.
As soon as I sat down, he noticed my red eyes. "Hey, are you OK? What's wrong?"
"You are far too perceptive for this time in the morning." I grumbled to myself. "Nothing, it's fine, just the exhaustion and stress getting a bit too much for me."
He nodded, looking exhausted himself. "You're telling me. I could barely sleep, I ended up reading past papers at half three this morning. There's just so much I don't know Jane, I don't feel ready for this at all, every year they ask this weird bizarre question that I'm certain wasn't even in the notes..."
"Shhh, it's OK, I have a plan." I tried to calm him down as his voice rose higher in panic.
"So, each paper has three questions. There's the standard one that repeats each year, a slightly harder one that still seems to repeat in variations of three or four different approaches, and then, as you noticed, the insane one. Don't even worry about the insane one - that only counts for 30%, and unless you know the course back to front or are very lucky, I wouldn't focus on that one right now."
He gave half a laugh. "The crazy question - also known as, the one that only Jane will be able to answer because you have a photographic memory. It really winds me up that we've spent exactly the same time revising and you're still ahead of me on every course!"
I blushed slightly. "It's not photographic, I'm just really good at remembering patterns... and as I said, going to the lectures and tutorials at the time helped! Anyway, let's focus on getting the method down for that first question, there's no reason for you to drop any of the easy marks..."
Two hours later, I'd coached Bob though the methods for the first and second questions, or at least as I'd predicted them.
"OK, and then after we differentiate, what do we do...?" I trailed off, raising my eyebrows at Bob.
"We stick the limits in! Um... the limits being..." He paused, frustration creasing his face.
"It's OK, just think. Is this a quick or a slow reaction?"
"Oh! Yes, it's what we said, it's a quick one and zero to thirty seconds is quicker than zero to an hour, so that reminds me that the limits are 0 and 30, but if it had been a long one, the limits would have been 0 and an hour, which is 3600 seconds. And then we 'put it in a box', which means that that we have to multiply the three values I have together like working out the volume of a box, and then I imagine yelling at you at that window -" He stopped, laughing briefly, before continuing. "- but instead I'm yelling 'THE UNITS ARE WRONG', which reminds me that I need to convert it back into per second instead of per day which it's currently in."
He looked at me for confirmation, and I grinned. "You've got it! Perfect!"
He grinned broadly. "You know, you'd make the weirdest but most amazing teacher. I don't even know how your brain links all of that together, but it's working!"
"Like I told you, I'm good at patterns - it's all about making the patterns memorable!" I looked at the big clock on the wall and realised that we only had ten minutes before we needed to be heading out.
"Time to get everything together! And I'll keep running all of those processes through with you as we go to the exam, so you've really got it down in your head." I started gathering all my things together, running through my exam checklist in my head. Calculator, student card, two pens plus third emergency pen, emergency pencil, ruler...
"Jane." His serious tone made me look up. "I really, really appreciate all this help. I just wanted you to know."
Embarrassed, I tried to brush it off. "Look at you getting all serious on me. Let's wait until after the exam before you start thanking anyone, OK?"
He laughed. "Actually, great point. But I have faith you've prepared me well. I know you sacrificed your sleep to come help me when you're normally sleeping before an exam, and it's really decent of you."
I blushed harder. "Seriously, stop it! Who are you, and what have you done with the Bob who spends his life being mean to me?"
"I think the exam stress sent him into hibernation... but don't worry, he's been thinking up heaps of great insults, he'll be back to brighten up your life soon enough!"
"Fantastic. I can't wait." As Bob went through to find his student card in his room, I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly. I knew I was prepared for this exam - time to empty my mind of everything non-exam related, and get out there and kick this exam's ass.
Sunday, 22 February 2015
The Revision Vignettes: 5. Lies & Confusion
On Sunday morning, we were back studying bright and early. BBC3 was running a repeat of The Voice, so we had that on in the background and were critiquing each act as they auditioned.
"I think I'd definitely go with Tom Jones as my judge." I commented as he turned for a teenage girl with a powerhouse of a voice.
Bob frowned, considering. "Really? I think will.i.am would be the one to go for..."
"He doesn't even sing though!" I exclaimed. "Tom Jones is an absolute legend, just think of what he could teach you."
"Legend, yes, but in touch with the current music industry? Tom might be able to teach you about singing, but will.i.am has the contacts and knowledge to make you a real star, you need more than just talent."
I was about to argue back when we heard Gary's door open. Turning round to tease him about being up so early on a Sunday, the words stuck in my mouth as a tall, leggy blonde sauntered past the kitchen door wearing nothing but a short towel.
I turned back to Bob, eyebrows raised. "Looks like someone had a good night last night!" I whispered, hoping that the girl couldn't hear me.
"You're telling me!" He whispered back, shutting up quickly as the girl walked back and into Gary's room.
"Although one thing astounds me - how do girls see his room and not run a mile?" I mused back at normal volume.
Bob just gave me a look. "Well, I don't expect she was entirely sober when she came back..."
I giggled. "Very true!"
I turned back to the TV as the next contestant came on. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Bob staring at me with a strange expression on his face.
"Staring's rude, you know." I commented, keeping my gaze on the TV.
"Ah, sorry, I wasn't meaning to. Just... are you OK?"
I glanced over, confused. "You mean about Gary sleeping with that girl? Don't be silly, of course I am. We never even went out."
"No, no, not about that - I knew you weren't that invested in him. I more meant, even though you two weren't really together, it doesn't bring back any bad memories? If you're not up for revising or anything, don't try and hide it, just let me know."
Properly bewildered, I sat up and looked straight at Bob. "OK, I have no idea what you're talking about. What bad memories? Have I lived an alternate life I know nothing about?"
Now I wasn't the only one looking confused. "Well... I meant Lee - about him cheating on you, I thought seeing Gary so soon with another girl might have brought all that up again? I never saw you upset over it but I know you're good at hiding that kind of thing, so I just wanted to let you know it was OK. Round me, that is, it's fine to just say if you're upset."
I burst out laughing, much to Bob's consternation. "Cheated? Lee never cheated on me! At least, not that I know about, and I'm fairly certain he never did."
"But... you always said, the reason you broke up was because he lied to you... I just assumed?"
I gave Bob a wry grin. "Well, you know what they say about assuming!" Looking down at my hands in my lap, my grin faded slightly.
"He did lie to me. But not about another girl... you know that he was resitting first year?"
Bob nodded.
"Well, he had to take some extra classes to make up credits, and none really fitted, so he had to take geography. He knew nothing about it but it was the best of a bad bunch. And I know nothing about it either, but I spent the entire year trying to help him study, learning things myself so that I could help him better. We made revision plans, I helped him study around my own exams, I spent hours and hours each week helping. And when it came to the exam, I got him up early and made him breakfast, wished him luck, and cycled off to uni."
My voice took on a harder edge. "So after uni, I called him to find out how the exam had gone. He said it hadn't gone well, so I decided to treat him, bought him steak, cooked his dinner, was an all round sympathetic girlfriend spoiling her boyfriend... And that was all I thought of it, until exam results came out."
I paused. The next bit still angered me, even now. "I knew his log in details, because he used to get me to check things for him on his uni homepage. And I shouldn't have done... but when I knew results were out, I thought I'd check for him, and message him his results. So I looked... and thought I'd seen it wrong. He'd failed, but he hadn't got less than 40%. He'd failed because of non-attendance at the exam."
Bob groaned at this and shook his head. He knew how seriously I took helping my friends with exams, and how seriously I took education in general.
"So I phoned him and confronted him about it. He was just silent on the phone, which told me everything. Eventually he started talking, and apparently he'd just waited until I passed him cycling to my lectures, then turned around and gone straight back to bed. He hadn't even tried. I tried to move past it, to forgive him, but after a few months I realised I hadn't, and that I didn't like the person it was turning me into. And that's when I ended it."
Bob shook his head at me. "Trust you to end a relationship over lies about exams! Only you, Jane!"
I grinned ruefully. "That's me, you can cheat all you like but no lying about your grades or that's it!"
He laughed out loud at that, whilst I quickly added, "Although I would actually also be upset if my partner cheated on me, I just want to clarify that!".
"If you weren't upset at something like that, you'd be beyond your usual boundaries of oddness, don't worry." He laughed under his breath. "Well, now I understand why you looked at me like I was crazy when I started going on about Gary!"
"What about me?" Gary appeared at the door of the kitchen, sounding as rough as he looked. Bob wasted no time teasing him as he stumbled over to the sink and started downing water. They bantered back and forth (with noticeably more enthusiasm from Bob) for a few minutes, before Gary headed back through to his room. At the door he paused slightly, peeking at me a bit uncomfortably.
"Jane, um, I..."
"Oh, for God's sake!" I exploded as Bob started sniggering in the background. "Gary, we very amicably concluded things before they ever started, so I am absolutely fine! Go back to your girl before she starts thinking you've disappeared!" I exhaled exasperatedly as Gary stood frozen in the door.
"Uh... I was just going to let you know that the dish you brought lasagne over in the other day, uh, well, I broke it... But I'm going into town today and I'll get you a new one. That's... that's really all I was going to say."
"Oh." I sat there, feeling my cheeks glow red hot from embarrassment. "Uh, thanks for letting me know. And for getting me a new one. It was just a standard baking dish from Tesco, don't go spending on anything fancy. And, uh, sorry about that..."
He grinned at me slightly. "Ha, no worries, also good to know that's all fine." He shuffled back off to his room as I turned back to the table where Bob was dying laughing.
"Don't say a word."
"I think I'd definitely go with Tom Jones as my judge." I commented as he turned for a teenage girl with a powerhouse of a voice.
Bob frowned, considering. "Really? I think will.i.am would be the one to go for..."
"He doesn't even sing though!" I exclaimed. "Tom Jones is an absolute legend, just think of what he could teach you."
"Legend, yes, but in touch with the current music industry? Tom might be able to teach you about singing, but will.i.am has the contacts and knowledge to make you a real star, you need more than just talent."
I was about to argue back when we heard Gary's door open. Turning round to tease him about being up so early on a Sunday, the words stuck in my mouth as a tall, leggy blonde sauntered past the kitchen door wearing nothing but a short towel.
I turned back to Bob, eyebrows raised. "Looks like someone had a good night last night!" I whispered, hoping that the girl couldn't hear me.
"You're telling me!" He whispered back, shutting up quickly as the girl walked back and into Gary's room.
"Although one thing astounds me - how do girls see his room and not run a mile?" I mused back at normal volume.
Bob just gave me a look. "Well, I don't expect she was entirely sober when she came back..."
I giggled. "Very true!"
I turned back to the TV as the next contestant came on. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Bob staring at me with a strange expression on his face.
"Staring's rude, you know." I commented, keeping my gaze on the TV.
"Ah, sorry, I wasn't meaning to. Just... are you OK?"
I glanced over, confused. "You mean about Gary sleeping with that girl? Don't be silly, of course I am. We never even went out."
"No, no, not about that - I knew you weren't that invested in him. I more meant, even though you two weren't really together, it doesn't bring back any bad memories? If you're not up for revising or anything, don't try and hide it, just let me know."
Properly bewildered, I sat up and looked straight at Bob. "OK, I have no idea what you're talking about. What bad memories? Have I lived an alternate life I know nothing about?"
Now I wasn't the only one looking confused. "Well... I meant Lee - about him cheating on you, I thought seeing Gary so soon with another girl might have brought all that up again? I never saw you upset over it but I know you're good at hiding that kind of thing, so I just wanted to let you know it was OK. Round me, that is, it's fine to just say if you're upset."
I burst out laughing, much to Bob's consternation. "Cheated? Lee never cheated on me! At least, not that I know about, and I'm fairly certain he never did."
"But... you always said, the reason you broke up was because he lied to you... I just assumed?"
I gave Bob a wry grin. "Well, you know what they say about assuming!" Looking down at my hands in my lap, my grin faded slightly.
"He did lie to me. But not about another girl... you know that he was resitting first year?"
Bob nodded.
"Well, he had to take some extra classes to make up credits, and none really fitted, so he had to take geography. He knew nothing about it but it was the best of a bad bunch. And I know nothing about it either, but I spent the entire year trying to help him study, learning things myself so that I could help him better. We made revision plans, I helped him study around my own exams, I spent hours and hours each week helping. And when it came to the exam, I got him up early and made him breakfast, wished him luck, and cycled off to uni."
My voice took on a harder edge. "So after uni, I called him to find out how the exam had gone. He said it hadn't gone well, so I decided to treat him, bought him steak, cooked his dinner, was an all round sympathetic girlfriend spoiling her boyfriend... And that was all I thought of it, until exam results came out."
I paused. The next bit still angered me, even now. "I knew his log in details, because he used to get me to check things for him on his uni homepage. And I shouldn't have done... but when I knew results were out, I thought I'd check for him, and message him his results. So I looked... and thought I'd seen it wrong. He'd failed, but he hadn't got less than 40%. He'd failed because of non-attendance at the exam."
Bob groaned at this and shook his head. He knew how seriously I took helping my friends with exams, and how seriously I took education in general.
"So I phoned him and confronted him about it. He was just silent on the phone, which told me everything. Eventually he started talking, and apparently he'd just waited until I passed him cycling to my lectures, then turned around and gone straight back to bed. He hadn't even tried. I tried to move past it, to forgive him, but after a few months I realised I hadn't, and that I didn't like the person it was turning me into. And that's when I ended it."
Bob shook his head at me. "Trust you to end a relationship over lies about exams! Only you, Jane!"
I grinned ruefully. "That's me, you can cheat all you like but no lying about your grades or that's it!"
He laughed out loud at that, whilst I quickly added, "Although I would actually also be upset if my partner cheated on me, I just want to clarify that!".
"If you weren't upset at something like that, you'd be beyond your usual boundaries of oddness, don't worry." He laughed under his breath. "Well, now I understand why you looked at me like I was crazy when I started going on about Gary!"
"What about me?" Gary appeared at the door of the kitchen, sounding as rough as he looked. Bob wasted no time teasing him as he stumbled over to the sink and started downing water. They bantered back and forth (with noticeably more enthusiasm from Bob) for a few minutes, before Gary headed back through to his room. At the door he paused slightly, peeking at me a bit uncomfortably.
"Jane, um, I..."
"Oh, for God's sake!" I exploded as Bob started sniggering in the background. "Gary, we very amicably concluded things before they ever started, so I am absolutely fine! Go back to your girl before she starts thinking you've disappeared!" I exhaled exasperatedly as Gary stood frozen in the door.
"Uh... I was just going to let you know that the dish you brought lasagne over in the other day, uh, well, I broke it... But I'm going into town today and I'll get you a new one. That's... that's really all I was going to say."
"Oh." I sat there, feeling my cheeks glow red hot from embarrassment. "Uh, thanks for letting me know. And for getting me a new one. It was just a standard baking dish from Tesco, don't go spending on anything fancy. And, uh, sorry about that..."
He grinned at me slightly. "Ha, no worries, also good to know that's all fine." He shuffled back off to his room as I turned back to the table where Bob was dying laughing.
"Don't say a word."
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