We heard dad come back into the chalet at around midnight. We'd all gathered upstairs in the bedroom us kids were sharing, managing to calm Alyssa down by watching some chick flick on my laptop together. As we all glanced at each other, mum slipped out the door to go speak to him. We braced ourselves for more shouting, but the building stayed quiet.
We'd just relaxed and started focusing on the film again when we heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Expecting mum, we all tensed as one when instead our dad came through the door.
"Jane, Alyssa, Peter... I'm sorry."
We all looked at each other wide-eyed - my dad never apologised, it was something we always teased him about. He'd realise he was in the wrong, stop being grumpy and cheer up, but whenever we told him to say sorry he'd always joke and deflect, never actually saying those words.
"I know things aren't always easy with my parents, but this weekend isn't the time to dig up those issues. This weekend is meant to be about us, and having a good time together. Now you're all grown up and at university I don't get to see you as much... Forgive me so we can enjoy the rest of the weekend?"
Without even looking at each other we all got up from the bed and rushed towards my dad, who opened up his arms to take us all in a giant bear hug. With one arm round my dad and the other round Alyssa, a piece inside me I didn't even know about relaxed. I hadn't realised how stressed I'd been about this weekend going well, and although I wasn't happy that there had already been an argument, at least it was over now. And for my dad to apologise... well, that definitely deserved forgiveness.
Later, when Alyssa and Peter had fallen asleep on dad on the sofa, I followed mum through to the kitchen.
"So, how did you manage to pull that miracle off? He actually apologised!" I smiled at mum, slightly teasing but with genuine questioning beneath it.
Mum sighed and ran her hands through her ear-length hair. "It wasn't me. I could see as soon as he came back in, he genuinely felt bad about it all. Maybe I rubbed it home how inappropriate it was to bring up the Twins during this weekend, of all weekends, but the apologising was all him."
I felt a bit of a happy glow in my chest at that - my dad had been getting more and more difficult to get on with recently, but maybe this marked a change back to the happier times.
"It's not all his fault though, you have to consider what he's going through." Mum continued, turning to put the kettle on.
"Wait, what do you mean?"
"Well, with work and everything."
I knew my dad had been stressed with work recently. He'd been working away from home in England during the week trying to get this major project done on behalf of the company CEO, but he hadn't really opened up much more than that.
"Work...? Is the project not going well? Are they going to fire him?!" My voice rose as my imagination began to run wild, but mum quickly shushed me.
"No, no, nothing like that! But he hides from you how much he actually works... He flies down Sunday morning so he can be in the office by midday, and works until 9pm at night. He goes home to his empty flat, eats whatever he has in the cupboards, and goes to bed. He's then up and out of the flat by 5am, and works those crazy hours every day until he flies back up home on Friday evenings. He's reaching the point of being clinically exhausted."
I was silent for a moment as I let that process. I knew he'd been working hard, but that was just insane. No wonder he'd been tetchy recently - if I'd been running on that little sleep I dread to think what monster I'd be.
"But why is he doing it, mum? Why doesn't he just tell the boss it's too much?"
My mum smiled sadly and shook her head. "You know dad, once he takes on a challenge he'll get it done even if it kills him." She paused a second. "And also... if I tell you this, you have to promise not to tell the others, OK?" I quickly promised. "Well, the money is good. Really good. As in, in a month or two we'll have all of the university money saved up for all of you."
My parents had always insisted that they would pay our way through university so that we wouldn't have to take out loans or work during term time. There were conditions, of course - that we got a job every summer to earn our own 'fun' spending money, and we accepted that once we started at university we didn't get to go on big family holidays any more. It was more than a fair deal though.
Unfortunately, the idea had originally been based on the Twins promising to pay a fair chunk of the money to put us through our degrees. I'm sure you'll be shocked to find out that despite many, many promises, this money never actually appeared. However, my parents had made us a promise, so without us knowing they'd started saving up. My dad earned a decent wage, but putting three kids through university cost a lot, so it had been taking longer than planned.
Seeing my expression soften, mum gave me a hug around the shoulders. "I know he's not always easy to get on with - if anyone knows I do! - but he does all this for you guys, you know. Everything he does is for us."
Gesturing for me to pick up the other mugs, we rejoined the others in the lounge. Dad maneuvered himself out of the sleeping pile of Alyssa and Peter and moved over to sit between mum and I. Filled with a sudden burst of emotion, I leaned into him and hugged him hard. The corner of his mouth quirked up and he ruffled my hair.
"What's up, J?"
"Nothing, dad. I just love you." He laughed, and shifted so I could lean more easily against his shoulder.
"Love you too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the weekend went so well, it was a real struggle returning back to the reality of 4th year. We spent Sunday morning racing around the local abandoned quarry on quadbikes, laughing at Alyssa as we repeatedly lapped her around the track (she had a real fear of going fast after an unfortunate incident when she was younger involving quad bikes and the neighbour's glasshouse... Luckily no damage occurred, but it was a very close call!).
Fortunately for me, I had something else to look forward to. Gary had been texting me pretty much non-stop since Sunday night, and tonight was our weekly Glee night session. I hadn't actually seen him properly since *that* night, and it felt like butterflies had taken up permanent residence in my stomach. I'd never really gone through the "proper" route of getting a boyfriend before (my experiences with Lee being a prime example of how you shouldn't get a boyfriend...), and I had no idea what to really expect. I just hoped we still clicked as well in person and no awkwardness got in the way.
After mentioning to Gary that I'd made a fresh batch of white chocolate icecream the other night (definitely my signature icecream dish), he bombarded me with pleading messages until I agreed to bring it over - but still leaving some for Dave, after he moaned about me stealing all his treats. I love all my boys, but when it came to food it was like keeping toddlers happy at times!
Speedwalking over to minimise the time the icecream was out of a freezer, I was over to their flat in record time. Their front door had been playing up, so Bob had to run down the stairs to let me in. We chatted easily as we climbed up, but before we reached the door he stopped and touched my arm.
"Look, I know you and Gary are talking tonight... I just wanted to say - don't raise your hopes too high, OK?"
I raised an eyebrow at him and waited for him to continue.
"Not because I don't think it will work or anything, I mean you're both two of my closest friends, you're both amazing people..." He stopped and sighed, flustered.
"Just... Gary doesn't have the best track record with this kind of thing. But what do I know, next thing I know I could be best man at your wedding..."
That broke my composure and I burst out laughing. "Uh, no, you don't have to worry about that anytime soon, if ever!" Grinning back at me, he quickly changed the conversation and led me into the flat. As he nipped through to the kitchen to put the icecream away, I pondered what that could have meant. Maybe Gary wasn't that keen after all? Or maybe... was he - jealous? No, it couldn't be, his girlfriend had called him when we were walking home from university today and you'd never heard such a loved up conversation. If it hadn't been socially inappropriate I'd have crossed to the other side of the road and put my headphones in at full volume, blegh. PDA didn't do it for me in any form, whether physical or verbal - keep it private, people!
I wandered through to Bob's room and found Gary already sitting on the sofa in his standard Hannah Montana blanket. I'd seen it and teased him enough to not bat an eyelid any more, so I collapsed down next to him and we easily started chatting about the latest episode. Internally I breathed a sigh of relief - it didn't feel awkward at all.
The hour passed quickly, filled with our usual constant chatter of Bob complaining about us forcing him to watch it, and Gary and I debating our favourite characters. During one of the advert breaks, Bob got up to go get the icecream, leaving us alone again. I started one of my usual rants on the hundreds of diet food adverts that seem to have taken over TV nowadays, but Gary put a hand on my arm to quiet me.
"So, after Glee's finished... Would you mind hanging around a bit? Just for a chat?"
I smiled and put my hand on top of his. "No problem at all."
We were still smiling at each other when Bob came back with the icecream. Rolling his eyes at us, he handed over the bowls and sat down himself before taking a spoonful.
"Jane - oh my god, my mouth is in heaven. This is amazing."
Gary nodded furiously. "It's just so smooth, how did you do this?!"
I laughed at both of them. "You're both ridiculous, all you need is an icecream machine, a bit of cream, milk, sugar, eggs and white chocolate, and you're sorted!" Secretly I was pleased though - I love feeding people, and seeing people happy eating my food is one of my greatest pleasures. Plus, this icecream was pretty damn awesome.
Before we knew it, the episode was over. Bob seemed to know we were off to talk alone, as he quickly settled down at his laptop and didn't follow us out of his room. Assuming that we were heading into Gary's room, I opened the door and took a half step inside.
Gary moved to stop me, but it was too late. I was frozen, staring at the bombsite in front of my eyes. I'd seen messy student rooms before, but this - this was beyond disgusting. Eyes flicking round the room, I realised I couldn't see a single inch of the floor, so covered as it was in clothes, crisps wrappers, plates - god, was that something mouldy in the corner?!
Gary reached around me and pulled me back as he shut the door. "Um, sorry about that... I was going to suggest we talk in the kitchen?" He shamefacedly led me through as I tried to instantly forget what I'd just seen. I'm not a clean freak by any means (except about dirty dishes, which I can't stand), but that room had genuinely made me want to vomit.
Realising I was a little shellshocked still, Gary quickly changed the conversation to the snow we had forecast soon. It worked, and again we were soon chatting away, but it felt like Gary was just leading up to something and I wished he would get on with it. Bob had reminded me that we had a 9am tutorial the next morning that I'd forgotten about, and I was just wanting to go collapse into my bed, watch another episode of Buffy on Netflix and still get my good 8 hours sleep. Every time the conversation lulled and I thought we were finally there, he'd suddenly change the conversation to something else lighthearted and frivolous. I could feel the grumpy tiredness monster inside me start to stir as the clock passed half ten, quarter to and started nearing 11pm. Frustration inside me reaching a breaking point, I'd almost convinced myself that I'd been imagining things and he didn't want to say anything at all - in which case, nothing was stopping me leaving to go to bed.
"So, I'm sorry to break up the conversation, but I really need to go sleep..." As I started shrugging on my hoodie, I could see Gary clearly fighting whether to say something.
"OK Gary, call me crazy, but I feel like you've got something to say, and you've been dragging it out all night. So, what is it?"
He glanced up at me, surprised. "Huh, I'm more obvious than I thought then?" I smiled wryly and nodded. "Oh, OK. Well. Um... well, we get on, really well - we've been chatting all night and it's been really really nice, and you're a lovely girl..."
"But?" I interrupted. I was tired and cranky, made crankier by the fact that he'd clearly just wasted an hour of my evening because he didn't have the balls to say where this was clearly going.
"But... maybe we should just stay friends. I'm not really wanting a relationship right now." He stopped and looked at me warily.
"No problem, I appreciate you telling me. Friends it is!" I smiled at him and started heading for the door. Out the corner of my eye I could see him do a double take before he followed me to the door.
"So... are we good? I didn't mean to lead you on or anything-"
"Gary, we're fine. Honestly. It was worth seeing if this was going anywhere, but I don't mind that it isn't. And right now, I really, really need to go sleep if I want to function at university tomorrow, so..."
"Oh, of course! Uh, well... see you next week for Glee?"
I nodded before turning and heading down the stairs. As I walked back to my flat, I was surprised to find that I actually was fine. OK, I'd been hoping that maybe something would happen... but in hindsight, it was more interest in dating in general than actually Gary, which wasn't exactly the best start for anything. Plus, any emergent feelings had definitely been killed by that horror of a room!
Plus... that traitorous little part of me that couldn't get over Bob had puddled into relief - after all, if anything happened with his flatmate, that was a bit of a closed door to anything ever happening between us without major drama. But no! I wasn't doing this anymore, I promised myself. Squashing that little bit of me down and down until it was virtually nonexistent, I finally reached my flat and my bed. Sliding under my beautifully soft duvet, I sighed as I fully relaxed and instantly fell asleep.
The next morning, Bob was already waiting outside as I wandered up past his flat. He glanced at me worriedly, but didn't say anything. Laughing silently to myself, I figured if I could be blunt yesterday then there was no reason why it couldn't keep going today.
"You knew, didn't you? That's what the warning was about?"
"Yeah... Gary had been saying he wasn't sure. But he does really like you as a friend, and he didn't want to hurt you."
"I get that, I do. And thanks for letting it work out as it did. But I'm not hurt, so it is all OK, honestly."
He gave me a side-look. "Are you sure? Gary said you were a bit... cheerful after he told you?"
I laughed. "Yeah, I can imagine it sounded a bit weird! If I'm honest... I'd kind of figured something like that was coming after the whole hour of filler conversation, and I was just delighted that I could finally leave and go to bed. This girl needs her sleep!"
Bob burst out laughing. "You are the weirdest person, have I ever told you that?"
"Every day!" I grinned back at him. "Oh, and I meant to say, what is with Gary's room? I'd call it a pigsty but that's a deathly insult to pigs everywhere, I wouldn't make my worst enemies live in that!"
Bob groaned out loud. "Don't even get me started, it's horrendous. We're going to get rats at some point, and believe me I am not the person who is going to be sorting that out..."
Our laughter rang out as we strolled towards university, teasing each other and sharing revision plans as we headed towards the final few days of lectures before the dreaded Christmas exam period descended. However, with a friend like Bob beside me? It didn't seem half so bad.
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